THANK YOU JAMES RUANESTER//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
++++++++++ 27/03/2013
SAD NEWS: James Ruane, the talented guitarist and lover, has
unfortunately decided to hang up his strings and leave Dan the Thief. The Dan
Mobile will be an emptier, much less sarcastic place without him. We would like
to thank him for the endless hard work that he's put into the band on and off
the stage from the start of the DtT journey, and wish him all the best for the
future. He will now be spending his time as chairman of our fanclub, making
banners and forging our autographs on mass mailouts.
To prevent Dan from having a longer list of
members/ex-members than Spinal Tap, our lead yodeler Jamie Hamilton will be
taking over Ruane's guitar duties. Hopefully he'll do an alright job at that,
but he can't promise anything when it comes to replicating James' dazzling
dance moves.
2013 BITCHEZ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
++++++++++ 06/01/2013
Sorry about the lack of noise from us towards the back-end of 2012. We've been keeping our heads down recently, and with good reason. The feds have been on our tail ever since we accidentally kidnapped that drunk person in Leeds in September. I mean really it's pathetic, how were we supposed to know that they were in the back of the police riot van that we happened to be stealing (before taking it for a joy ride through Hyde Park). Yes, we may have mown down an officer or two, and yes, there were a good few explosions but other than that it was all in jest. I don't know what their beef with us is. So we've mainly been either donning bearded disguises (or in Matt's case, non-bearded disguises) and sleeping rough or hiding in various relatives' sheds and garages. It's a life that we've become accustomed to, we've even written a few new jams on instruments that we have fashioned out of old garden furniture and the leftover body parts of animals we have hunted and eaten.*
Anyway, now that the manhunt seems to have cooled down somewhat, we're getting back down to business. Serious business. We're off into the studio in the next few weeks to record ourselves a single that we plan to set free into the world like a sexy dove sometime in February. Our favourite graphic designer/visionary/artiste/liability/friend, Jonathan Lindley, has already started nailing the artwork down, and if the recording sounds half as impressive as the artwork looks, we'll be blowing your minds and faces off before the chorus kicks in. We'll keep you updated... Speaking of February, it is also in this very romantic month that we will again be loudly serenading friends and strangers alike with some live shows. We're playing the Imperial in Chorley on 7th Feb, before rocking out with Next Stop Atlanta at 53° in Preston on Friday 8th.
Peace & Love,
Dan the Thief x
*None of this actually happened.
BBC INTRODUCING LANCS////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
++++++++++ 05/09/2012
So someone at the BBC has (probably irresponsibly) decided to broadcast us live on Radio Lancashire on Thursday 13th September. We will be chatting away and playing some music - some of which won't have been heard by ears other Dan's. Exciting, I know. It's also the first opportunity you will have to hear our shiny new bearded drummer, Matt, in action.
Also, if you Facey B or tweet us something interesting whilst we're on air, we may just read you out and make you negligibly famous.
See you on the radio,
Dan the Thief x
DRUMS//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
++++++++++ 22/08/2012Afternoon.
For those of you who don't know, Buster won't be hitting the pots and pans for us any more. Some might tell you that we all had a massive fist fight culminating in Paddy rubbing his balls on Buster's drum kit - this is true. We later renewed our friendship vows at a beautiful, understated little ceremony in the Lakes, but we still have slightly different ideas about how we want Dan to sound. Buster is a helluva guy and a helluva drummer and will always be an honorary member of Dan the Thief. We wish the talented bastard all the best in the future.
Resultantly, we are joined by a new thief. We are lucky enough to have recruited the blistered but masterly hands of Matthew Dearden to make new beats/memories with us and will resume business as usual from next month, starting with a live session on BBC Introducing in Lancashire on 13th September. We've even written some new songs that we are pretty chuffed with.
Thank you all and keep living the Dan,
Dan the Thief x
WHO'S DAN?/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
++++++++++ 05/03/2012
The story of 'Dan the Thief' is a complex and, at times, touching yarn. An orphan raised by urban foxes on the outskirts of Lewisham, young Dan helped his skulk to forage; gathering the plentiful supplies and throwaways of an increasingly wasteful human population. Dan, blissfully unaware in the ignorance of his youth didn't realise that he was not a fox. The other foxes were happy to let him believe that he was one of them. They were afraid of hurting his feelings if they told him the truth, and the loss of his contribution to the skulk would be considerable; Dan's opposable thumbs gave the team a marked edge over its rivals.
As time passed and the seasons changed in the perpetual manner that they do, Dan changed with them. He began to realise that he was different. He had not the fiery red covering of his fur of his brothers and sisters, nor the big bushy tail, and he stood much taller than they did on his two legs. One day, whilst devouring a half-eaten Snickers from a city bin, Dan caught his reflection in a shop front window. Seeing the human staring back at him and recognising it as himself, he was horrified. So horrified in fact that he ran.
He ran northward until he could not run any further and his legs collapsed beneath him. He finally fell to the floor in Blackburn, Lancashire – where he was to start a new life. A life of crime. A life of thievery.
Bitter and scarred by the lies of his 'family' and forever isolated from humankind, Dan stole whatever he could and sold it on the new Blackburn Market. He became especially fond of stealing musical equipment from local bands and made most of his income through such means. The bands were fearful of Dan's feral, primitive demeanour and he was rarely challenged. Until one cold October evening when a troop of five brave and intuitive young musicians in search of their missing equipment followed a trail of plectrums to Dan's lair. Stunned, Dan made for the exit only to trip on an XLR cable he had stolen from a child earlier that day. Although angry, the musicians were honourable and sympathetic to Dan and took him under their wing. Such kindness reminded Dan of his childhood with his adopted vulpine family and he took favourably to the unnamed band, allowing them to rehearse within his lair and vowing never to steal again. The heroes of the tale, although forgiving, could not let the crimes of Dan's past go wholly unpunished, so they stole his name as ironic retribution.
Thus, Dan the Thief was born.